


Fine Wine

by jonginniesprout



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bartenders, Boyfriends, First Dates, Heavy Angst, Hope you'll like this Andie, Illnesses, Implied Smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-23 08:30:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20337172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonginniesprout/pseuds/jonginniesprout
Summary: Love is all where it started. Love is all where it ends.Hate turns to grudges as life slowly crumbles in a limited time.





	1. First Date

**Author's Note:**

> ***28072020 - updated this fic and fixed the errors :) ***
> 
> This is my second fic and I really love writing this one. It's supposed to be one shot but my mind happened so we have 2 chapters and a short Epilogue. Enjoy ^^

* * *

It was a busy night in the metro. People were walking fast, bumping at each other while they are on their way home. Loud noise of honks coming from the vehicles on the streets can be heard, as well as the buzzing sound of friends chatting and laughing. Only the moon, stars and light poles keeps the streets bright.

_ It's Friday finally_, Kyungsoo shrugged as he put down his messenger bag on the chair beside him. Finally, he can enjoy the night after a week of hell in the office. Finally, he can visit his favorite bar and enjoy his favorite drink. Finally, he can see a glimpse of his favorite bartender.

"Hi Mr. Soo!" A familiar voice greeted. "Ah, Jongin, I told you to call me Kyungsoo. You're making it sound like I’m too old even if I'm just a year ahead of you." He replied, playfully scolding young bartender.

His favorite bar is just like the usual ones. Dim lights accompanied by acoustic music, sometimes pop, depending if there were available musicians. Few tables with chairs which are usually full of people every time he visits. The bartender station which is surrounded by ten seats, more or less, has wine glasses hanging upside down. They serve different kinds of cocktails - name it, they have it_. _The bartender station is his favorite part of in the whole area. His favorite place to release his frustrations; a place to relax. Well, a place to be inspired since there's a certain Kim Jongin working there.

Kim Jongin is a newly hired bartender on Kyungsoo's favorite bar. He just started nearly three months ago but he's already a pro on the said field. He is tall, a height every man could wish for. His skin is golden brown which perfectly matches with his toned body. Not to mention his pretty face; his pleading eyes which always looks like he's a lost puppy - gorgeous and adorable at the same time. His full lips which are the cutest when pouted. He's the very main reason why Kyungsoo got hooked in the place even more.

"I told you, you are our customer and it would sound rude if I would call you by your first name." The bartender defended while preparing a mix on his hands. "The usual?"

"Yes, the usual." Kyungsoo nodded.

That night, Kyungsoo waited for Jongin's shift to finish. After three months of _ getting to know _ the bartender, he realized he already liked the guy. As a friend? Maybe. More than that? Probably. He's planning to invite him tonight for a meal. A super late dinner. He's hoping Jongin would come and accept his offer. He tried calling all the gods and deities to be in his favor just for tonight.

Jongin went out of the bar with a backpack tugging on one of his shoulders. He's wearing a white shirt with a bear printed on the middle. The shirt definitely fits him perfectly. Every muscle, every curve of his body can be seen through the outline. A pair of jeans and a black converse shoes completed his outfit. Jongin was holding his cellphone with both hands like he was playing some games, when Kyungsoo reached out to him and greeted,

"Hey, Jongin." The bartender got startled as he almost dropped his phone. He whined and he started stomping his feet on the ground like a child.

"I lost!" he replied, a pout started to form on his lips. He slipped his phone back in his pocket and finally gave Kyungsoo his attention.

"Oh, Mister-- I mean, Kyungsoo, why are you still here?" he asked.

"Hey, sorry about that. I just wanted to ask if you want to.." Kyungsoo stammered. He was fidgeting and biting the inside of his cheeks, eyes were shaking nervously before he finishes what he was trying to say.

"Do you want to eat dinner? Or grab something before going home?" He breathed a sigh of relief after he finished the question, eyes avoiding Jongin's. He wanted to cover his ears so he would not hear the rejection from the other male. Jongin was silent for a few moments and Kyungsoo felt his chest was about to explode from the mixture of anxiety and excitment he was feeling.

"...I mean it's okay if you don't. I totally understand." He immediately followed, mouth forming a lopsided smile. He heaved deeply and thought that he should just bid his goodbye before he could even hear the rejection.

"Chicken skewers…" Jongin murmured and Kyungsoo was nothing but confused, eyebrows knitted together. He tilted his head and gave Jongin a quizzical look.

"You asked me to go and eat with you. I'm craving for chicken skewers now. Is that okay?" Jongin asked as his mouth formed another pout - definitely a cute one. Cute enough for Kyungsoo to almost fall on his place. He could not believe Jongin would come with him. Nothing yet has sunk in on his mind, his face was blank.

_Did he just say yes? Are we really going out tonight? _He pulled back from zoning out when he felt a hand on his shoulder tapping him.

"So? Do you want Chicken skewers or what?" Jongin was waiting for his answer, one eyebrow arched, face looking dead serious. Kyungsoo's heart was racing eratically. It took him a some time before he was able to compose his thoughts as he finally decided to answer.

"Uhh.. Su..Sure. Do you know where can we eat that at this time?" His voice was shaking and he wasn't sure if the words were clearly heard by Jongin.

Jongin scanned the busy street by turning his head left and right, looking for something. He then checked the time: its 1:20 AM.

"I know a place, I think we still have time." He replied. Kyungsoo nodded and signaled Jongin to lead the way as he had no idea where they were going.

The alley of the streets were still bright. There are still people walking around. Some were drunk, some were just about to get a few drinks and some were just looking for chicken skewers.

"Oh here it is!" Jongin excitedly announced when he grabbed Kyungsoo's hand and guided him towards a small food stall.

"This is my favorite place! Their tteokbokki is great, too! Do you want one?" Jongin suggests. His eyes were glowing and the sides of his mouth were lifted from ear to ear. He busily taps his fingers on front of the stall while waiting for Kyungsoo's reply.

Kyungsoo have never seen Jongin like this. Obviously because of the fact that they only meet every Friday inside the bar. Jongin was always sweet and very child-like. An innocent child, he must say.

"Anything will do for me, Jongin."

"Two Chicken skewers and two tteokbokki please." Jongin ordered with excitement reflecting on his eyes. Kyungsoo pulled out his wallet and attempted to pay for the food when Jongin tapped his hand, declining the offer.

"I invited you so I think I should pay." Kyungsoo defended. Kyungsoo got a point so Jongin didn't bother to argue anymore as he let the older man settle their bill.

They went inside the stall to look for available seats so as to rest their tired bodies. There was one table available with two chairs, seemingly just waiting for them. Destiny is doing wonders for Kyungsoo that night, indeed. They sat down in front of each other as they waited for their order. There was a brief moment of awkward silence since it' was their first time going out together. Yes, they are acquaintances but they only meet once a week. That's four to five times a month. They don't even talk that much since Jongin is always on duty every time Kyungsoo visits.

Jongin took out his phone and started playing his game again. Opposite from what Kyungsoo was feeling, Jongin was acting like everything was normal. He's not even weirded out when Kyungsoo asked him. Kyungsoo, however, felt like there's a lump stucked in his throat. He can't even move a single finger the moment they get inside the small food stall. All he could do was to heaved deep sigh, trying to calm his pounding chest.

Kyungsoo attempted to to to break the deafening silence as he cleared his throat, but that was when he heard a soft honey voice speaking to him,

"So, why did you ask me to eat with you?" Jongin inquired. He was placing his phone back in his pocket, the game probably ended. He raised one eyebrow and stared at Kyungsoo with nothing but confusion on his face.

"Uh...uh.. ." Those were the only sounds that came out from Kyungsoo's shaking mouth as he scratched the back of his head. He tried to open his lips again but only silence resurfaced between them. He slowly turned his head down, fingers tapping on the table nervously, hoping for Jongin to remove those fixed gaze on him.

"Okay, it seems like we're not going to talk, are we? Let's wait for the food and I'll just eat them on my way home." Jongin shrugged, eyes looking disappointed as he pulled out his phone yet again. He was about to start playing another game when Kyungsoo finally blurted out a few words.

"Thank you, Jongin." Jongin's mouth twitched and uttered a silent _"Huh?_" towards Kyungsoo. "Thank me for what?" he asked, head tilting to the side.

"For coming with me." Kyungsoo answered. He turned his head to the side to avert the bartender's gaze, but the sudden rosiness of his cheeks gave it away.

"I must say, I don't know why I came here with you. I was really planning to eat here tonight, alone probably. But you asked if I wanted to eat something, so I guess that's why we’re both here." Jongin replied in a soft voice.

Kyungsoo heaved a sigh of relief when their food arrived. _ Finally something to talk about. _ He was about to bite the first piece of his skewers when Jongin threw him a question he was not prepared of.

"Do you want to hang out with me?" Jongin shrugged. His eyes were dark and a lopsided smirk was visible into his lips. "I don't do relationships. It's all shit, but if you want, we can hang out." He continued. Kyungsoo felt a pang on his chest as the words slowly registered on his mind. He wasn't able to respond yet when Jongin shoot out another surprising idea.

"We can go on dates or whatever, but I hate petty talks. I hate being jealous over something. Let's live our lives normally, and if it works," Jongin churned down the next piece of his skewers, "..if it works, then were good." he ended. Kyungsoo pursed his lips and tried to open his mouth but unable to utter any word. Before he knew it, he just saw himself nodding absent-mindedly on Jongin's conditions.

As they finished their meal, they both walk outside the stall. Kyungsoo noticed Jongin was yawning non-stop. Surely, he's tired from today's work. He tapped Jongin's shoulder, his face showing concern with the younger.

"Jongin, wanna go home?" Jongin straightened his slouched back and stared at him.

"I'm good. Do you want to grab some coffee? It's on me this time." Kyungsoo was startled by the sudden invitation, but since he still wants to be with Jongin, he agreed nonetheless. 

They walked towards the coffee shop that Jongin suggested. After those few hours they stayed in the food stall, they already became more comfortable with each other. They were talking about the people passing by, the drunk man who was sleeping in front of a bar, the two dogs that were making love in the middle of the streets.

"Look at that!" Jongin pointed out the dogs and he let out a loud guffaw. Kyungsoo was also cackling at the scene as he threw a quick glance on it but his eyes reverted quickly back to Jongin. He adored the guy so much.

As they reached the coffee shop and ordered their drinks, they settled down comfortably on the couch.

"Gross. Why do you like Americano?" Jongin asked as he looked at Kyungsoo with disgust when he started sipping from his cup.

"Well, its bitter, yes, but that's what coffee is all about, right?" he answered.

"We're total opposites, I guess. I like sweets and I don't like anything bitter." Jongin countered while getting a gulp of his favorite Cafe Latte.

It was almost 3:00 am when they noticed that they were the only customers left inside the coffee shop.

"Let's go home?" Kyungsoo initiated. He was also starting to get sleepy. He started working as early as eight in the morning and he's dead tired. But his chest keeps on throbbing fast. The effects of caffeine _probably_. Jongin nodded and stood up as they walked towards the cafe’s exit. Kyungsoo gave Jongin a quick smile before he opened the door for him.

"So, are we going out tomorrow?" Jongin asked while they walk side by side towards the dark streets.

"I should be the one to ask you that." 

"We don't have all the time in the world, Mr. Kyungsoo. If I wait for your invitation, it would probably take you uhm…." he paused, moving his head as if he was calculating time. "..another 3 months?"

"Well excuse me, Mr. Jongin, you still don't know how I do dates." Kyungsoo tried to defend himself. He doesn't know how but it seems like Jongin and him already felt at ease with each other given the span of time they have spent together.

"Then prove it. Pick me up tomorrow? 9 am would be the best. I only need a few hours of sleep anyways." Jongin winked, a little devious smile escaped from his lips.

Kyungsoo was surprised by how bold Jongin was. The guy was always straight to the point, always sure of what he wanted to say. It took Kyungsoo a few more moments thinking what to answer and before he realized it, Jongin was already panting in front of him. His hands were holding down his knees as he gasped for breath.

"Jongin, what's happening? Are you okay?" Kyungsoo immediately grabbed Jongin and assisted him to stand up slowly. Jongin was trembling. Kyungsoo was panicking as he doesn't know what was happening to the taller male.

"Take me home Kyungsoo please. I live a few blocks away." Jongin begged. Kyungsoo placed Jongin's arm on his shoulder, assisting him every step as they walk towards Jongin's apartment. 

Jongin immediately ran inside his bedroom as soon as they reached his house. He plugs in his nebulizer after filling it up with salbutamol. He tried to breathe slowly, calming himself until finally his breathing regularized.

"Are you okay now, Jongin?" Kyungsoo asked. He was waiting on the living room, walking back and forth, biting his nails. He tried to peek nside Jongin's room as he was concern on what sound he was hearing 

"I'm okay now, Kyungsoo, I'm sorry if I startled you." Jongin answered, slowly walking out of his room. He was still breathing heavily but it's much better nowcompared to earlier. "I actually have asthma. A bad case actually." He explained, a simple smile escaped his lips. Kyungsoo can't explain how can Jongin still smile after what happened.

"Are you going to be okay now? I mean sleeping alone? I… I don't want you to think anything negative about me but I'm just really worried." Kyungsoo scratchds his head, his eyes were avoiding Jongin's. He can't believe he almost offered to sleep in Jongin's apartment that night.

Jongin creases up and giggled. "I’ve been like this for the past 25 years of my life. I'm okay Kyungsoo. I'm home now. And remember I told you, no petty talks."

"This ain't petty talk Jongin, I'm honestly worried." Kyungsoo slowly closes the distance between them. He reached for Jongin's hand and held it firmly.

"I.. I like you Jongin. I know it was just today that we got to know each other more but--" Jongin squeezed Kyungsoo's hand lightly and interrupted him when he kissed the older's forehead.

"I know Kyungsoo." Jongin's smile was sincere as if he was an angel who had fallen from above. His eyes were shining, not a single trace of pain from before was visible.

"And I think I like you, too. But now, it's already past three in the morning and I think you should go home." Jongin gave out a giggle before he removed his hand from Kyungsoo and slowly pushed him towards the door. He opened the door for Kyungsoo and walked him outside.

"So see you tomorrow, 9 am sharp okay? "Jongin clarified.

"Are you sure? Don't you need to take more rest?" Kyungsoo's brows furrowed, his hands slipped down, holding Jongin’s again.

"I'm already fine, I told you. And I'll make sure I'll bring my inhaler tomorrow. No need to worry." He smiled with his eyes, giving Kyungsoo reassurance.

"If you say so." Kyungsoo left a soft peck on Jongin’s hand before he took a step back away from Jongin. "Please take a rest now and go inside. I'll be here at 9 in the morning."

Jongin nodded and waited until Kyungsoo was almost out of his sight. He entered his apartment and ran back to the kitchen, reaching for a bottle inside his medicine cabinet. He took two pills and immediately swalloed them after gulping on a bottle of water.

**/-/**

Kyungsoo woke up to the beeping sound of his alarm the next day. He scooted on his bed to reach the side table and checked the time on his phone.

"Oh, Fuck!" It was already ren minutes past eight in the morning.

He was rushing to take a bath and brush his teeth. He has no time to eat breakfast so he decided he'll just ask Jongin to eat outside.

He must be lucky that day because there was already a bus waiting at the stop. There were still vacant seats and he could sit comfortably without ruining his outfit. He dressed up nicely that day as he wore a light blue long sleeves which were rolled on half of his arms. His pants was complimenting his polo and black shoes well. He prepared everything yesterday before he dozed off.

As he reached Jongin's apartment, he took one last look on his watch - 9:05 AM. At least he’s just 5 five minutes late. He was about to knock on the door when he noticed that it was left ajar. He tried knocking, nevertheless, but no one answered.

"Jongin?" He called out but there was no response. He silently peeked his head in the apartment and it was pitch dark. He tried calling out Jongin again, maybe he's just in his room.

"Jongin, I"m-"

"Late." Kyungsoo was startled at the voice that interrupted him. He entered the apartment and saw Jongin sitting down on the couch, arms twisted in front of his chest, face forming a frown; looking disappointed.

"I told you, you should be here at 9 AM." Jongin whined as he tried to look away from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, hurriedly ran and sat beside him.

"I"m sorry. My alarm didn't work. I'm sure I've set it right last night." He placed his hands on Jongin's shoulder, drawing comforting circles on it. "I'm really sorry."

Jongin slowly turned around to finally face him. His lips were pouted and his brows were knitted in the middle but in a cute way.

"This will be the first and last time, okay? I don't want to waste time, I think I told you already." Kyungsoo couldn't help but to admire the look on Jongin's pissed off face.

"You're so cute when you're mad. Do you know that?" Kyungsoo brushed Jongin's cheeks ever-so-lightly with his thumb as he smiled brightly. He tucked a few strands of hair at the back of Jongin's ear since it was blocking the guy's beautiful face. He can't help but to admire the younger's beauty more.

They were staring at each other for a brief moment with nothing but silence as their company. But Jongin didn't saw the next thing coming. Kyungsoo leaned closer to him. He cupped his cheeks as he gave him a kiss. A soft peck at _first_. Jongin's breath hitched when Kyungsoo parted his lips, his tongue then travelled inside Jongin's mouth. Jongin was digging his nails on Kyungsoo's arms as their lips moved in sync. Kyungsoo’s hand traveled north slowly reaching for Jongin’s nape. He moved his fingers slowly, giving Jongin sudden hitch. He then brushed Jongin's soft and thick hair and grabbed a handful of it as the sensation between the heated kiss deepened.

"Ahh.." Jongin cried out.

Jongin seemed to be turned on the moment Kyungsoo bit his willing mouth. He hungrily countered as he sucked Kyungsoo's bottom lip. They were kissing hard, their tongue swirling around, massaging each other. Kyungsoo removed his hand from Jongin's neck and slowly moved to Jongin's thigh going up as he tried to reach for Jongin’s erection, when Jongin pushed him and gasped for breath.

Their lips were red and swollen and wet. Kyungsoo's eyes widened when realization finally hits him.

"Oh.. I'm so sorry Jongin. I’m really sorry. I didn't mean to-" _Fuck, Kyungsoo, you just messed up your first date!_

Jongin was still panting when a soft chuckle came out from his mouth. "Wow, I never expected this from you. How long have you've been holding that?” There was a grimace on his face as he speak.

“Since the first day we met in the bar?" Jongin continued as one of his brows raised with playful smirk on his lips.

"Would you believe if I say yes?" Kyungsoo replied as he tried to hide his blushing face.

"You look great today Kyungsoo and I don't want to ruin it. Not at this early in the morning. So, let's go? We still have the whole day with us. And this..." Jongin leaned closer and pressed their foreheads together. He rubbed his finger on Kyungsoo's lips before he brushed his tongue seductively, just enough for Kyungsoo to feel the touch. He pulled back and stared at Kyungsoo, eyes dark and hooded, "..this can wait later." He ended.

Kyungsoo was stuck in his place, unable to move. He was barely breathing. Jongin's boldness always surprises him. He felt his cheeks were now burning red down to his neck. He also noticed that his cock was already half hard and was now bulging insdie his pants. He was at a loss for words but he really needed to go to the comfort room that moment before Jongin could even notice.

"Ah..J..Jongin, where's the-" he was not able to finish his question when Jongin interrupted him.

"The white door on the left side, that's where the comfort room is." Jongin replied with a shit-eating grin. Of course he knew what's happening with Kyungsoo. He probably noticed it before Kyungsoo could even.

**/-/**

"I'm hungry." Jongin whined. "I haven't eaten breakfast yet." 

"Good, 'cos me too. What do you want to eat?" Kyungsoo asked as he looked around the area, trying to check if there were good restaurants or anything that they could eat. He really is hungry. He narrowed his eyes as he read the name of the food stalls across the street when he felt a warm hand holding his. He quickly took a glance on it and found Jongin's hand wrapping around his, fingers intertwined. Kyungsoo's eyes widened and his breath hitched. He suddenly can't walk, he felt that his feet were glued on the floor.

"You don't like this?" Jongin raised their locked hand in front of Kyungsoo's face and threw the older man a quizzical look. "If you don't want then--" Jongin was about to pull his hand away when Kyungsoo clasped it and held it tightly.

"No, let's stay like this." Kyungsoo uttered while giving Jongin a soft smile.

They haven't noticed the time until it was already six in the evening. They enjoyed the whole day and did a lot of things together for the first time. After they finished their breakfast earlier that day, they watched a movie about a North Korean man who loves to tap dance but Jongin didn’t like how the movie ended. They spent the remaining afternoon in an amusement park. Kyungsoo tried to get the biggest teddy bear from shooting an arrow to a moving apple. Jongin was whining for it the whole day asking him to get it. Kyungsoo did his best until he finally got it.

As they walked out from the park, Jongin felt his stomach growled the same time with Kyungsoo.

"Where are we going to eat now?" Jongin asked, both of his hands carrying the bear Kyungsoo won for him.

"I have an idea but I'm not sure if you would like it," Kyungsoo offered. "I can cook for you and we could get some drink?"

Jongin didn't even took a second to reply, "Yes! Your place?"

Kyungsoo nodded, a smile formed out from his pursed lips. He held Jongin's hand as they continued to walk side by side.

**/-/**

Kyungsoo prepared buttered chicken, he learned that it was one of Jongin's favorite. That day, he discovered that all kinds of chicken were the younger male's favorite. Be it fried, roasted, you name it and Jongin would be delighted to eat it.

“Wow! This is the best chicken I’ve ever tasted.” Jongin uttered happily as he messily ate his meal with his two bare hands. Kyungsoo’s smiled as he watched Jongin. He can't help but to feel amazed how simple the beautiful man is.

Kyungsoo also began to munch on his food when Jongin initiated a conversation. “So, where’s your family?” 

“They lived in Gyeonggi Province. Too far from here. I visit them sometimes.” Kyungsoo replied. He sipped into the glass of his wine before he returned the question to Jongin.

“What about you?” Jongin paused and wiped his mouth. He stared at Kyungsoo and took a deep breath before he answered.

“My father died when I was just 3 years old, and my mom died after she gave birth to me.” There were a few minutes of awkward silence before Kyungsoo could respond.

“Oh, I’m sorry for asking.” He reached his hand out to hold Jongin and the younger clinged into it.

“It’s okay, I’m already used to being alone anyways.”

The night was almost dark and Jongin had decided to go home.

“Thank you for today Kyungsoo, I really enjoyed everything.” he uttered while walking towards the door. Kyungsoo handed him the teddy bear that Jongin seemed to forgot.

“Here, take this home. I got this for you,” Jongin took the bear and placed it on the couch.

“I want this bear to stay with you so you could always think of me everyday.” He chuckled, happy lines appearing on his face and Kyungsoo adored the look so much.

“Okay then.” He nodded. “Are you sure you could go by yourself? I mean I can send you home.” Kyungsoo asked worriedly.

“You’re so tough yet you’re so tiny.” Jongin teased. “I can take care of myself. I didn't even have any attacks today. Plus, I got this with me.” Jongin pulled out the inhaler from his bag and showed it to Kyungsoo.

“Just take care,okay? And message me as soon as you get home. No, message me if anything happens on your way home. I’m rea-”

Kyungsoo was not able to finish with his words when Jongin leaned and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

“Too much talking Kyungsoo. I can do this.” Jongin replied but Kyungsoo was not moving. Jongin noticed a dark gaze on the older’s eyes. It was not even a minute later when Kyungsoo grabbed him closer and cupped his cheeks. He locked their lips and started kissing the younger in a needy way. He pressed his tongue to the seam of Jongin’s lips and delved inside his mouth. He could taste the sweet wine they shared over dinner. Jongin’s arms traveled from Kyungsoo’s waist, going to Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo arched up into Jongin’s broad chest, moaning through the contact of their warm bodies. Jongin pulled back as he tries to catch for breath.

“So you’re still hungry, huh?” He asked, eyes were fixed on Kyungsoo’s wet and swollen lips. He didn’t even wait for Kyungsoo to respond when he dives again for the older’s mouth. His lips parted as his tongue touched Kyungsoo’s. The heat rose from their body as Jongin pulled Kyungsoo closer, too close that their hard crotch were now brushing together. Kyungsoo moaned when Jongin grabbed and lifted him. He could feel the warm breath of Jongin every time he gasped for air. Jongin walked slowly towards Kyungsoo’s room, their lips still locked together. A smacking wet sound surrounded Kyungsoo’s apartment. Jongin slowly laid Kyungsoo on the bed and placed his two strong arms om either side of the older male, locking Kyungsoo between him and the mattress.

Jongin kissed him slowly Kyungsoo starting from his jawline down to his neck, taking his time as he delved on the pale skin. His hands reached for the hem of Kyungsoo’s shirt attempting to remove it. Kyungsoo archedhis back a little to help Jongin. The bartender placed gentle kisses on Kyungsoo’s chest at first before he started licking Kyungsoo’s bare chest. His tongue moved slowly as it reached Kyungsoo’s pert nipples.

“Jongin..” he blurted. Jongin continued as one of his hands goes down reaching for Kyungsoo’s hard erection. He gave Kyungsoo a gaze as he lifted his head slowly. His eyes were staring at Kyungsoo as if asking for permission and Kyungsoo nodded swiftly.

**/-/**

“Well this was a long day.” Jongin uttered while brushing a towel on his dripping hair as he came out from the shower. Kyungsoo was busily arranging the messy bed. He was diligently folding the sheets and piling up the pillows neatly. Jongin walked towards him and hugged him from behind.

“We just started dating today and a lot of things happened.” He smiled over Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“I told you Ireally like you since the first time I saw you. But I don’t have any idea that you felt the same. I just, you know... felt like you were doing those things because I’m a regular customer.” Kyungsoo shrugged. He slowly turned around to meet Jongin’s face.

“Who the hell would give a customer free drinks? Not to mention the expensive ones, if he just did it because he’s a regular? Haven’t you noticed I’m flirting with you since the first time you asked me to call you Kyungsoo? And didn’t you also observed that I’m addressing almost everyone by their first name except you, _ Mr. Soo. _” he pouted his lips and a small chuckle came out from his mouth.

“I was asking for your attention since then.” Jongin brushed his lips gently against Kyungsoo's, giving him a soft and gentle kiss.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” Jongin was a bit surprised when Kyungsoo asked the question. It was really tempting. He was tired and he really needed to sleep.

"I really wanted to but.." he paused and stared at Kyungsoo's eyes, observing his reaction. "But I really need to meet a friend early tomorrow." He continued when he noticed that Kyungsoo seems to look calm and nodded in understanding.

"To tell you honestly, I need to meet this friend of mine twice a month. So that's two Sundays of every month." He ended. Kyungsoo threw him a perplexed look and tilted his head to the side.

"I envy this friend of yours." he blurted out.

"I told you, don't get jealous over anything. I hated it." Jongin shrugged and placed his arms over his chest. He turned around and looked away from Kyungsoo.

"About that Jongin…" Kyungsoo murmured, he went down the bed and walked around to finally face a pouting Jongin. "You told me you don't do relationships. So what are we?"

Jongin was flustered and was taken aback. His eyes were wandering around the corners of Kyungsoo's room, seeking for answers. Kyungsoo closed the distance between them and held Jongin's hands tightly, his eyes boring at Jongin with nothing but sincerity.

"Boyfriends? Please, let me be an exemption. Please let me prove to you that.. that love still exists." He kissed Jongin's hand and stayed there for a moment as he waited for Jongin's reply. Kyungsoo felt Jongin's breathing becomes heavier and heavier. He immediately checked Jongin and saw him panting. He ran to the living room to get Jongin's inhaler inside his bag and quickly handed it to Jongin. 

"How are you feeling now Jongin? Look, I'm really sorry." Kyungsoo murmured, his head bowed down as he slowly caressed Jongin's slouched back. The bartender's breathing was now calmer and back to normal after taking his inhaler.

Jongin turned his head to the side to face Kyungsoo. "I know love exists." in his soft honey voice, he murmured, "It's just that I'm sick. Look at me. I'm unhealthy and you still need to worry about me. I just find it unfair for you."

Kyungsoo shrugged. He lifted his head now to face Jongin as he gave him a genuine smile before he replied, "And I would love that. Not your bad health of course. I just think that I would love to worry about you. I would love to take care of you. I would love it if I could be with you everyday." He stared at Jongin with only honesty in his eyes as he patiently waited for Jongin to reply.

Jongin breathed out a heavy sigh, he rolled his eyes before he answered, "Okay, boyfriend. Now take me home."

**/-/**

Jongin and Kyungsoo were happily dating for three months now. and today marks their thrd month anniversary so Kyungsoo decided to do something different. Something special for the most important person in his life. Kyungsoo never faied to surprise Jongin almost everyday. He promised that he will take care of Jongin in all ways that he can. And tonight, he's planning to ask Jongin if they can stay together so he could watch and take care of him all of the time.

Instead of going on an expensive date, he prepared their dinner. He cooked roasted chicken and prepared some kimchi and stew. He also brought a bottle of expensive wine and placed it on the middle of the table. He lit up 2 candles and turned off the light and sat down on the couch in the living room while he patiently waits for Jongin. 

It took Jongin only a few minutes to arrive at Kyungsoo's place. He knocked softly and Kyungsoo hurriedly opened the door for him.

"What was this all about? Why is it so dark?" he said as he scrunches his nose.

"Just follow me, okay?" Kyungsoo answered while holding Jongin's arms, assisting him to walk towards the dining room.

Jongin's jaw dropped, his mouth fell open and his eyes widened. Kyungsoo noticed the shock on Jongin's face, a small smile played on his lips.

"Happy third month anniversary, baby." He greeted as he tiptoed to reach Jongin's lips and placed a soft kiss on them.

Jongin smiled warmly to his boyfriend and kissed him back, "Happy 3rd month anniversary, my love."

They were enjoying their candle-lit dinner; it was the most romantic thing that Jongin had ever experienced in his life. He would definitely choose this over expensive dates.

"So when did you plan all of this?" Jongin asked while he busily cut his chicken.

"Uhmm.. Just a week ago." Kyungsoo replied.

"You always do something for me and I thought…" Jongin paused. He was grabbing his bag that was seated on the chair beside him. He pulled for something inside but Kyungsoo could not figure out what it was because it was too dark. Jongin placed a small red box above the table, near Kyungsoo's hand. He opened it and pulls two gold rings. He breathed out a deep sigh before he faced Kyungsoo.

"I'm not asking you to marry me yet. It's too early for that. I just.. you know.." He was fidgeting, his eyes were wandering trying to look for the next words. "..since your mine, and I'm yours, I just want us to wear this. I know it's a bit cringey but-"

Jongin stopped when Kyungsoo held his hand. He slowly grabbed one ring from Jongin and slipped it on Jongin's ring finger. Kyungsoo placed his left hand on front of Jongin's, asking him to put the ring on it.

A bright smile appeared on Jongin's lips as he slid down the ring. Kyungsoo stood up from his seat and ran around the table, reaching for his lover. He cupped Jongin's cheeks and kissed him - soft, sweet and gentle pecks.

"Thank you. I love you, Jongin."

"I love you too, Kyungsoo." They pressed their foreheads together as they feel the warmth breath of each other's breath. Kyungsoo puleds back, his fingers ran on Jongin's blushing cheeks. He inhaled deeply, trying to get the confidence he needed before he drops the question he eagerly wanted to ask ever since Jongin arrived.

"Jongin, I don't want to rush you into anything. I just want to take care of you more and I don't want you to feel lonely." Kyungsoo paused and pursed his lips. He held Jongin's hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Do you want to live here with me?" he asked. Finally he can now let go of the breath he was holding. Jongin was just staring at him, eyes were blinking fast as if checking if it was really happening. Jongin tilted his head, his face looking puzzled. His brows were knitted together and his mouth is now forming a pout.

"I really wanted to but…. can you give a month to think about it?" He asked, his eyes were full of nothing but worry. He really wanted to say yes, but there's just something stopping him.

"Sure, it's okay. I know it's still too early for this." Kyungsoo answered, hands still holding Jongin's making the younger feel reassured.

**/-/**

Kyungsoo was not upset, by all means. He was sad, maybe a little. He already expected Jongin to reject his offer. They were just officially together for three months yet he wanted to drag Jongin into his house.

He laid down on the bed and pulled the sheets up to his neck as the night grew darker when he felthis phone vibrated. It was a message from Jongin.

_ ** [Jongin]:** _

_ I'm home now. Please sleep well. Thank you for everything today, I am really happy!_

_And I'm really sorry, just let me think about it first. Goodnight Kyungsoo. _

Kyungsoo was about to reply when another message came in again,

_ **[Jongin]:**_

_Oh, and tomorrow, I will meet Yixing again. _

_Remember the friend that I always told you? I'll see you on Monday. I love you! _

Damn. It's that day of the month again in which Kyungsoo hated so much. Jongin told him that he was just some friend and he needed to meet him every other Sunday but he didn't tell him anything in between. He really is curious especially now that he finally confirmed that it was a man all along. _ Yixing. _

Kyungsoo felt jealous_, _but he can't tell Jongin anything about that. Because he promised Jongin that he will always trust him.

_**[Kyungsoo]** Just always take care okay, babe? Always text me if you need anything. _

_Update me whatever happens. Good night and rest well. I love you. So much. _

That was all Kyungsoo could reply.

He heaved a deep sigh as he placed his phone back on the bedside table. He stared at his hand, admiring the ring that Jongin gave him, his lips slowly curved into a smile.

He felt relieved.

_“Jongin is mine.” _He whispered to himself. Now he can finally sleep without those thoughts running into his mind.

**/-/**

  
Kyungsoo visited Jongin after his work one Friday night. The bartender was busily attending to the customers when he noticed his boyfriend was seated on his usual spot.

_"Oh."_ He was startled. He finished the orders from other customers before he ran back to where Kyungsoo was.

"So, what makes you come here?" He asked while he gave Kyungsoo a bright smile, his eyes crinkled and his lips curved from ear to ear.

"Visiting my boyfriend, I guess." Kyungsoo answered. Jongin couldn't hide the blush from his cheeks. He tried to change the topic just so he could hide his face away from Kyungsoo since the man probably won't stop teasing him.

"Let me get you something to drink." Jongin walked away from Kyungsoo, preparing a mix - Kyungsoo's usual order.

As he returned to his boyfriend, Jongin noticed a tall man standing next to Kyungsoo. The guy seemed familiar. His physique, his aura. Everything. As Jongin got nearer, he finally recognized the owner of the face that he was staring for too long.

"Oh Sehun?" He blurted out. The guys smirked back at him and nodded.

Kyungsoo stared at Jongin in a confused way. _ Who the hell is this man? There is another man aside from Yixing? _He silently murmured to himself.

Jongin noticed the look on his boyfriend's face. He didn't want everything to be awkward so he introduced the taller male to him.

"Kyungsoo, this is Sehun. My frie-

"Ex-boyfriend." Sehun interrupted. His hands reached out to Kyungsoo and the latter warmly accepted and shook it.

"He's Do Kyungsoo, my boyfriend." Jongin's voice was loud and intimidating. It seems like he was irritated by the presence of the other male. 

"Why are you here anyway?" Jongin asksed, one eyebrow raised, eyes almost fuming in annoyance.

"Calm down. I'm here to check on you." Sehun answered with a soft voice.

"As you can see, I'm all good." Jongin replied. He tried to lower his voice so he could not get his customer's attention. He was still in duty after all.

It took Sehun a few moments before could get back to Jongin. "I just noticed, you look a bit thinner now. And…" A deep sigh. "..and I met Yixing."

Kyungsoo noticed that Jongin was bewildered buy the sudded mention of the name. _Yixing._ It rings a bell. Oh, Yixing, that Sunday_ friend, _ Kyungsoo pondered to himself.

Jongin leaned closer to Sehun as if he was to whisper an important secret. His voice was low but he made sure that Kyungsoo could hear everything to avoid misunderstanding.

"Let's talk about this some other time. I'll message you." Jongin signed Sehun to leave and the guy obeyed. He walked away from the bar while telling Jongin to call him. Jongin nodded eagerly and shooed him away.

**/-/**

_You looked a bit thinner now._ Kyungsoo contemplated to himself the moment he reached his apartment. Many thoughts were running through his mind.

_Why did Sehun suddenly visited Jongin? Why the hell did Jongin got startled when he mentioned Yixing? Who the hell really is Yixing?_ All Kyungsoo knew was that Yixing was the man he hated the most. He pressed his fingers on his head, slowly giving it a massage when he suddenly heard a knock on the door.

"Jongin?" Kyungsoo asked while giving the man a perplexed look. "What are you doing here?" Kyungsoo opened the door in full swing, inviting Jongin to enter.

"I'm sorry if I bothered you." Jongin shrugged. Kyungsoo grabbed one of his bags and assisted Jongin to the couch. "I told you I would think about your offer..." Jongin bowed his head down, trying to hide the his crimson cheeks. "I guess I'm moving here now."

Kyungsoo was taken aback, his jaw dropped by the sudden news. "You should've message me so I could help you. Are you okay? Do you feel trouble breathing? Do you need-"

"I'm fine." Jongin reached out for Kyungsoo's hand and pulled him, asking the older to sit beside him. Kyungsoo obeyed and moved beside his boyfriend. Jongin nozzled his head on Kyungsoo's shoulder, looking for comfort.

"Let's stay like this for a while, then let's unpack my things." Jongin requested which Kyungsoo didn't even tried to reject. They stayed like that for a while.

Jongin closed his eyes as Kyungsoo brushed his hair. He could feel Jongin was having a hard time breathing by the way he pants, but Jongin seemed to be comfortable and Kyungsoo just let him be. 

"Thank you, Kyungsoo." Jongin whispered as he satback on the couch.

"Thank me for what?" Kyungsoo questioned him while holding his hand, squeezing it gently for comfort.

"For letting me stay here."

"I wanted you to stay here Jongin. I want to take care of you and be with you everyday." Kyungsoo cupped Jongin's cheeks and gently placed a soft kiss on the younger's lips.

"So let's start unpacking your things then?" Kyungsoo asked as he grabbed one of the bags and Jongin nodded in agreement.

Kyungsoo loved how he can cook for Jongin three times a day. He always made sure Jongin only eat healthy meals. He regularly checks with his boyfriend if his asthma was attacking again. It's been a few weeks since Jongin moved in and he noticed that Jongin doesn't use the nebulizer anymore. Jongin reassured him that he is well since Kyungsoo never missed a day reminding him to drink his medicines. However, what's bothering Kyungsoo is that no matter how healthy Jongin foods are and how diligently take his pills, he still gets thinner every time.

"I work at night, maybe my lifestyle explains it." Jongin blurted while swallowing two white pills Kyungsoo handed him. Well, Jongin has a point. If only Kyungsoo could decide, he wanted Jongin to work on day shifts, but Jongin loves bartending so much and Kyungsoo would not dare to stop him.

"I'm going to meet Yixing again tomorrow." Jongin uttered as they discuss things over dinner that Kyungsoo prepared.

"Oh… Okay. Then I guess I'll just go and buy groceries and wait for you here." His mouth curved a fake smile as he slowly placed his spoon and fork on the table.

"Jongin, I'm sorry I know we already talked about this but… who really is Yixing? And why does your ex knew about him? Why can't I meet him?" Kyungsoo asked in a soft voice as he stared at Jongin.

Jongin took a deep breath while as he finished his meal.

"Yixing is Sehun's best friend that's why they know each other. Well, me and Sehun met because of Yixing, but the rest of that was history. Me and Sehun are just friends, same with Yixing. I really can't tell you all in detail for now, but you will know it soon." Jongin explained as his warm gaze met Kyungsoo's eyes. Kyungsoo was still baffled.

Why can’t his boyfriend tell him? Why does he need to wait? What was he hiding? He was silent and preferred not to argue with Jongin anymore since they've already been through the same situation a lot of times before.

"I love you Kyungsoo, and always remember that. I will love you forever." Jongin muttered under his breath and with that, Kyungsoo's worries swiftly slipped away. He reached for Jongin's hand and clasped it tightly,

"I love you so much Jongin. I just hope next time, if there's anything wrong, you could tell me first." Jongin nodded and gave his boyfriend a soft and loving smile.

**/-/**

Kyungsoo woke up late the next day and he was alone on the bed. He heaved a sigh when he remembered that Jongin was probably out already to meet with his _ friend._

He prepared himself and listed down the things they needed in the apartment. He decided to just spend the rest of his day outside, too. He loves grocery shopping, but he would love it more if Jongin is with him. But he totally understands. Jongin already reassured him that he loves him and him alone.

He picked up the reusable bags that he will use and before he opens the door, he took a quick glance on the gold band on his finger. He nodded to himself and gave out a soft smile.

_ Yup, Jongin is mine. _

It was already dark when Kyungsoo finished his stuff. As he walked towards the bus stop, he passed-by the bar where Jongin works. He doesn't know why but he has a gut feeling that he needed to go inside. He knew Jongin was not there since he's off duty.

He opened the door,expecting nothing of course, when a man greeted him,

"Kyungsoo, what are you doing here?" A different bartender greeted while he was cleaning the station. He looked startled by Kyungsoo's presence but Kyungsoo has no idea why.

"Hi Jongdae! I'm just.. I'm actually on my way home. I just decided to visit because it has been a long time since I last came here." He replied.

Jongdae is a waiter at the bar but also the sub-bartender when Jongin was not around.

"Are you okay?" Kyungsoo asked when he noticed Jongdae's eyes were shifting from him to other direction panicky.

"Y.. Yes I am. Please give me a minute, I just need to go to the bathroom." Jongdae excused himself and Kyungsoo nodded.

It took Jongdae a long time before he could come back but Kyungsoo patiently waited for him. He offered Kyungsoo a drink, _on the house_of course, even if Kyungsoo insisted to pay.

Kyungsoo was already on his third glass when he noticed a familiar silhouette standing not far from him. Two tall men hugging each other. The other man was crying and the other one seems like brushing his hand up and down on the crying man's back as a way of comforting. Kyungsoo's eyesight was not great ever since but he knows one of them is definitely Jongin.

He hurriedly went to them and confirmed if what he was witnessing was real. His heart sank as he got nearer, his hand forming a fist which turned to white.

"What's going on here?" He pulled Jongin away from Sehun. He doesn't know what to feel that moment. He was mad, he was jealous, he's really angry he could throw on a fit to anyone. He was right, starting from the gut feeling he had ever since he entered the bar. Everything. Something might really happen that night. Something bad.

There was a brief moment of awkward silence before Jongin opened his mouth and tried to convince Kyungsoo on all of his explanations.

"Kyungsoo, I'm.. I'm sorry." He was still weeping for unknown reasons. Sehun tapped Jongin's shoulder before he could turn to Kyungsoo.

"I guess you two should talk." He shifted his gaze back to Jongin and whispered, "Jongin, just tell him everything. Always take care okay? I'm always here." Sehun gave Jongin a last tap on the shoulder before he finally left the bar.

Jongin, with his eyes swollen, went to the nearest table and sat on a chair immediately, almosti losing his balance. Kyungsoo followed him.

"Sorry? Is that everything I deserve? So you two are going back together again?" Kyungsoo was close to crying, his voice was shaking. Jongin tried to hold his hands but he pulls it away.

"I don't want to _talk _this out, Jongin. I think I already saw everything I need to know. Now go follow your ex, I'm tired of taking care of your sick ass anyway." Kyungsoo went back to the bartender station and pickedup his bag and groceries and hurriedly depart the place.

**/-/**

Sunday afternoon came fast and Kyungsoo prepared yet again to fill in his supplies in the apartment. But this time he went home immediately without taking a stop anywhere. It only took him an hour to finish his errands that day.

As he reached his apartment, he noticed that the door was already unlocked. He hurriedly went inside to check if there were trespassers. He was ready to hit whoever it was with the thick frozen meat he was holding when he saw Jongin, packing his things.

His heart was crushed into pieces when he saw the man in his most unhealthy state. His eyes were swollen, he was so thin he looked like he hadn't eaten for days. His beautiful cheeks were now gone. His great physique, his body lines, nothing was left.

"What happened?" Kyungsoo blurted out as he ran towards Jongin worriedly. Jongin started coughing, his breath was hitching before he could even replied to the older male.

"I'm fine, I'm just working extra hours these days." He continued to cough again. "About that night, all I can say is that I'm really sorry. And whatever is happening right now, I deserve it." Kyungsoo was all but confused by Jongin's words and could not utter any word except a silent _'Huh?' _written all over his face.

"Thank you for everything Kyungsoo. I will always love you."

As Jongin finished packing his things, he stood up and prepared to leave. Kyungsoo tried to stop him by blocking the door, his arms raised horizontally covering the whole door frame.

"Aren't you here to fix everything about us?" He asked, sorrow visible on his face. His eyes were watery and he knew anytime those tears will fall non stop.

Jongin took a deep breath, trying to hold his tears too. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat before he replied, "I'm a jerk, and you deserve better."

"So I'm right, huh?" Kyungsoo shrugged, his arms now on his side. "You and Sehun… You're back together, right? You cheated on me? You broke all your promises and now you're saying you will love me forever? I will never get your point Jongin." his voice was loud and angry.

Jongin just bowed his head down, accepting all the hurtful words from Kyungsoo. When he didn't receive any reply from Jongin, Kyungsoo though of it as a signal that Jongin was really leaving him now.

"Okay, then go if that's what you want! Let's finish everything here. Go there, cheater, and go back to whoever man you'll be getting this time." Kyungsoo opened the door, his gripping the knob tightly. His eyes were red with anger as it stared at Jongin.

Jongin's mouth heaved out a small cry, his tears now starting to fall. He slowly exits the apartment, shoulders slouched trying to carry his two heavy luggages.

He took one last look at Kyungsoo and whispered, "I'm sorry Kyungsoo for not being honest with you. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I love you." He turned away and Kyungsoo slammed the door. He doesn't even understand what Jongin meant with his last words but he was madat the moment and everything related to Jongin doesn't matter.

He locked Jongin out of his life since then.


	2. A Little Too Late

It was more than two months since Jongin left Kyungsoo's apartment. Two months of no communication, no nothing. He was having a hard time himself. He missed Jongin so much. He missed_ them_. And he felt wrong. Why didn't he try to fix them before? Why did he let his anger took over him? Why didn’t he tried to talk to Jongin? He doesn't even know what really happened. He was the biggest jerk. Yes, he knows it.

  
Today was supposed to be their anniversary. He was planning to surprise Jongin and maybe, maybe he could still get him back. He bought a teddy bear and chocolates as a _ peace offering_. He really hopes Jongin would accept his apology and that they could start anew. He is willing to fight for everything just to be with Jongin again and he will accept all the explanations that Jongin have.

As the time ticks at 6:00 PM, he immediately clocked out from his office and ran to the bus stop. He was nervous and afraid that Jongin might not accept him, or worse, he might not forgive him. He anxiously checked the time on the watch on his wrist every minute.

As he was nearing the bar, he felt like something was pinching his chest. He didn't notice he was already panting. There were visible droplets of sweat on his forehead as well as on his back.

Kyungsoo hurriedly entered the bar the moment he arrived. He was standing in the center, eyes scanning every person but there was no trace of Jongin. He checked the bartender's area but there was a different man preparing the drinks.

"Excuse me," Kyungsoo called out the attention of the new bartender. "Where is Jongin?" The bartender's eyes narrowed and threw Kyungsoo a confused look.

"Hi Sir, I'm sorry, who are you looking for? I just got hired here not over a month ago."

"Ah, so you're new. Okay, never mind then. Thank you." Kyungsoo left the bartender and looked for another waiter or even the manager of the bar that he knows.

"Kyungsoo!" a guy in a waiter uniform shouted. It was Jongdae.

"Jongdae! I'm glad you're here." Kyungsoo responded when he finally saw a familiar face. Jongdae was staring at his hands which were holding the surprise presents for his _(ex) boyfriend_.

"For Jongin?" the waiter asked, his voice was shaky and low.

"Yes. Do you know where he is? I really need to see him. I want to get back with-" Kyungsoo was not able to finish on what he was saying when he noticed Jongdae slouching his shoulder and breathing heavily.

Hey, is everything okay?" Kyungsoo asked while tapping the waiter's shoulder.

"Jongin…" the waiter replied. Kyungsoo felt something was wrong and he probably don't want to hear it. Half of him says he wants to know what happened, the other half insisted to just not listen. Before he could even reply, Jongdae was already weeping in front of him.

"Jongin… he's… he is in the hospital right now." Jongdae was gasping while trying to breathe between his mewls.

"He has severe pneumonia." Jongdae ended. His hands were trying to cover his mouth to not let the other customers notice their discussion.

Kyungsoo was not able to move. The stuffed toy and the chocolates fell on the floor. All he could hear was a deafening silence. His hands were cold, and it felt like all his blood just left his body. He felt numb. It took him a few moments before he finally opened his mouth.

"I don't understand. What.. what happened?" He was trying to calm himself before he could burst into tears.

"The last day you were here. The day you saw him with Sehun. He already knew about his condition." Kyungsoo's eyes widened. Before he knew it, tears were already falling through his wobbling chin.

"That day, he already knew that.." Jongdae paused. He was choking as he cries. He could not keep his tears anymore as started to weep more loudly. Loud enough to get the attention of other customers. He took a deep breath before he continued.

"..he already knew he was not going to survive any longer. He.. he doesn't want you to see him like that." Jongdae tried to hide his face while bawling. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, tried to act nonchalant albeit he was wiping already his tears, he still pretended that he was fine. Like everything was okay. He just don't want to believe everything he heard.

"Where is he?"

Jongdae looked at Kyungsoo's eyes deeply before he answered. "If you are ready to meet him, he's at room 1214, Seoul Hospital."

He then bowed his head and continued weeping. All of the customers were already staring at them. Jongdae decided to run away from Kyungsoo and entered the waiters lounge.

Kyungsoo, without a second thought, picked up the gifts for Jongin before he flew outside the bar.

**/-/**

"I missed you." Kyungsoo shook his head. "I MISSED YOU!"

He was practicing outside the room 1214 while walking back and forth. He was not sure if he's ready to see Jongin yet. He loves Jongin so much and without a doubt. He wanted to see him. He missed him, but he doesn't want to cry in front of Jongin. He should not let Jongin feel like he was just a burden. He wanted Jongin to feel that he is loved. Even in the last days of his life, Kyungsoo will stay by his side. He could not get mad anymore. Not even if Jongin didn't tell him anything about his situation. Not even if they just wasted months not seeing each other.

He was about to enter the room when a group of doctors ran towards Jongin's room. There were three doctors followed by a number of nurses and they seemed to be in a hurry. He tried peeking in but one of the nurses blocked him and locked the door.

He anxiously waited outside. Changing his position from sitting to standing and vice versa. He was nibbling on his nails, biting the inside of his cheeks.

He was praying. Praying to anyone that could hear him to make Jongin feel better.

The doctors cameout from Jongin's room one by one followed by the nurses. They seemed calmer now. The last doctor was about to walk towards the nurse station when Kyungsoo decided to reach out for him, unable to hold himself.

"Hi Sir. I'm sorry to interrupt, but, how is Jongin doing?" the doctor was startled by the sudden interrogation from an unknown person.

"Are you a family member? It's been a month already. We were trying to contact all his relatives but no one seemed to respond." Kyungsoo felt the concern and sadness on the man's voice.

"I am his… his boyfriend." he answered.

"Oh… finally. Do Kyungsoo?" 

“How did you know my name?” He asked in a confused manner.

"Jongin speaks a lot about you. Anyway, please follow me. I have some... news for you." 

They walked through the corridor of the hospital. Kyungsoo was trailing behind the doctor while fidgeting. He's afraid and nervous. If this was all just a dream, he really wanted to wake up from it now.

Soon enough, they have reached the doctor's office. The doctor removed his white coat and hung it in the corner as he invited Kyungsoo to take his seat

"So, I assume you don't have any idea about Jongin’s condition?” He asked, hands clasped together. "I am Zhang Yixing by the way, Jongin’s doctor."

He offered his hands and Kyungsoo accepted it.

_Yixing? The Sunday guy?_ He thoughtto himself. _So Jongin was meeting with his doctor all those times?_

He snapped back to his zone after the doctor placed a copy of medical records in front of him. He needs to forget everything now and just focus on Jongin's well-being.

"I will go straight to the point." Yixing started as he rolled up the sleeves of his polo on his arms. "Jongin... he is in a critical situation. Based on our tests and observations, he would not last for..." he paused and sighed heavily.

"..for another month." He ended. Kyungsoo's jaw dropped, his eyes widened in shock. He doesn't feel any blood circulating on his body anymore. He pursed his lips and inhaled deeply, trying to look undisturbed. He doesn't want to believe everything.

"Less than a month? But... but how? I thought he was doing fine. He was not using the inhaler anymore when he was still living with me. Maybe there's something wrong with the tests? Can you do it again? Please, I really need Jongin back." Kyungsoo begged.

He felt a few drops of salty liquid fell from his eyes. He covered his face before he started bawling in front of the doctor.

"I'm sorry Kyungsoo. Yes we've advised him to stop using inhalers because it won't help him anymore. Inhalers can't make him feel better. We asked him to get checked and to stay here immediately for observation but he--"

"Resisted." Kyungsoo interrupted. The doctor could only nod in agreement. Kyungsoo was not able to control his emotions. He hissed a breath through his clenched teeth. He was attempting to stand but the strength seemed to leave him. His throat held back something between a sob and a shout.

"I.. I'll go check on him." He uttered with his shaking voice. 

**/-/**

He let out a deep breath, wiped all the tears in his eyes and cheeks as he faced the door of Jongin's room. He turned the knob and curved a fake smile on his lips. Kyungsoo tried to act normal. Like everything was fine. He slowly walked towards the bed, holding those gifts for Jongin. He felt a pang in his heart the moment he saw him. He saw a very thin and pale Jongin, lying down on his bed, with all the apparatus connected to him.

He reached out for Jongin's dry and skinny hands and held it. Jongin tilted his head a bit to look at the face of the man who's holding him. He gasped his breath under the oxygen mask on his face, his eyes widened in disbelief. He closed his eyes for a moment until a single drop of tear fell from it.

"J...Jongin.. I'm here now. Look, I got you your favorite." Kyungsoo held up the brown teddy bear and placed it beside Jongin. He then reached for the chocolate box and put it on the side table. 

"Today is our first anniversary, babe." He whispered as he placed a kiss on Jongin's forehead. He was wiping the tears that were falling from Jongin's eyes, but before he knew it, he was already weeping, too. They held hands for a long moment as they silently cry together.

_A cry of despair. A cry for hope._

Kyungsoo leaned closer. He embraced Jongin and let the torrent of the younger's tears soaked through his shirt. He could hear Jongin silently screaming, suffocating with each breath he took holding on to what was left. He ran his fingers through Jongin's hair, time and time again, in an attempt to calm the silent war within his mind.

"H..how did you know?" Jongin asked while he slowly lifted his head up from Kyungsoo's shoulder. He attempted to sit down on his bed and Kyungsoo assisted him when he noticed.

"Jongdae told me. He told me everything. And I was also able to talk with Dr. Zhang."

"So I guess you already know everything." Jongin heaved a heavy sigh.

"Why did you hide everything Jongin? I told you, I will always be here for you." Kyungsoo asked while gently holding Jongin's hand, his voice was soft as a whisper. He can't get mad at Jongin now. Not now, not ever. 

"Then what? We will live in despair everyday? I don't want to drag you into this. I want you to live happily. You deserve all the happiness. You don't need to get stuck in this damn room with me." Jongin replied as he was coughed in between his words.

"I would choose that everyday as long as I'm with you. Damn it, Jongin, I did everything for you to trust me." Kyungsoo's tears burst like water from a dam spilling on his face. His chin was trembling as he breaks down.

"Jongin I love you so much, I don't know.. I don't know how can I even live without you." He was weeping, tears streaming from his dark eyes. Loud, heaving sobs tearing from his throat until he fell onto his knees.

"I'm sorry." Jongin replied avoiding Kyungsoo's gaze as much as he can. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I was just… afraid." He was staring at the window, watching the dark night falling before his eyes.

"I love you so much too. I love you enough that I don't want you to experience this suffering. I love you enough that I am willing to set you free and look for another love. The love that could stay with you longer. I love you enough that I only wished you happiness." A single tear slid down again from his brown hazel eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed it's way down his pale cheeks, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been held inside of him for all this time but still, Jongin did not make a sound.

Kyungsoo was still shaking when he attempted to stand up and reach for Jongin. He grabbed the railings of the bed to help him balance himself. He extended his arms to Jongin's and brushed Jongin's hair several times. Kyungsoo wiped the tears left from the younger male's eyes and damped his lips on Jongin's forehead.

"I love you Jongin, and I will stay here."

They both fell asleep that night. Jongin was probably dozed off with all the medicines he took while Kyungsoo fell asleep from crying. He was laying on the couch beside Jongin. He moved the couch near him so he could easily hear if there was something that the younger needs.

**/-/**

It has been almost two weeks. Kyungsoo only went home every Sunday morning to get his and Jongin's clothes. He literally lived in the hospital for those days. He doesn't want Jongin to feel alone. He always tried to hide the sadness in his chest. He always smiles every time he is with Jongin but when Jongin is asleep, that's the time Kyungsoo could break down. Every night, every time he could, he will weep. Tears bursting from his eyes. It was hell. Like they were counting down the days they have together. It was crushing both of them down.

It was a sunny day. Kyungsoo brought his own breakfast since Jongin could only eat the food given by the hospital. As we walked back inside the room, he saw Jongin standing up, staring outside the window and smiling to himself.

"Jongin, what are you doing? The doctor said you need to rest. You might lose your balance."

"Don't worry Kyungsoo. I am being careful." Jongin let out a light chuckle.

Kyungsoo didn't want to stare at Jongin much longer since he knew he would be weeping again. Jongin's shoulders were slouching, his face, his beautiful cheeks were gone. His eyes were hooded and his lips were dry.

"It's a beautiful day outsid,e right? It feels warm." Jongin tried to walk slowly towards Kyungsoo. The latter rushed into him and assisted him to sit on his bed.

"Do you think I could go for a trip outside? I really missed the park." Jongin said while tugging Kyungsoo's hand.

"I don't know Jongin, the doctor said you can't get tired." he paused when he saw Jongin pouting. Even if he was sick, Jongin was still cute every time he pouts his lips.

"You really know how to get me, huh?" Kyungsoo shrugged and smiled softly at Jongin. "Okay I'll ask the doctor if we can. Wait for me here. But finish your breakfast first. The nurses will be here soon and they'll give you your medicines."

Jongin pursed his lips then slowly, a small curve which turned into a smile peeks in. Kyungsoo saw Jongin's eyes were glowing in anticipation. Jongin must really missed being outside.

Kyungsoo hurriedly went back to the room with good news. He turned the knob and saw Jongin munching happily over his breakfast. He could not help but to smile lovingly to his boyfriend.

"Jongin, Dr. Zhang agreed! We could go out and visit the park, but only for two hours. I think it's better, I don't want you to get all the pollution outside."

Jongin slowly turned to him after drinking a glass of water. He nodded and opened his arms, asking Kyungsoo to go into him and hug him. Kyungsoo ran and wrapped his arms around him. 

As few moments passed, he pulled back and gave Jongin a soft peck on his lips. "I love you Jongin."

"I love you too Kyungsoo."

**/-/**

The nurses helped them prepare the wheelchair and everything Jongin needed. Dr. Zhang explained all the things that Kyungsoo needs to do should there be a problem with Jongin's breathing. Kyungsoo listened diligently and nodded.

"Let's go, baby?" Kyungsoo smiled as he slowly pushed the wheelchair towards the hospital's doorway.

The park was just a few blocks away from the hospital, probably the reason why the doctor allowed them.

With all the days Kyungsoo spent with Jongin inside room 1214, it's just today that he finally saw the old Jongin. The happy and jolly guy he met a year ago. Jongin breathed in deeply and beamed a soft smile on his lips.

"Thank you, Kyungsoo. For everything. For coming into my life. For... giving me happiness.. one last time."

Kyungsoo felt a tear dropped from his eyes ashe swallowed the lump that was forming on his throat. Jongin is happy, he doesn't want to ruin it. He can only smile and nod as a reply.

He moved closed and sat on the ground beside Jongin's wheelchair. They were staring at the beautiful sun with clouds moving around while feeling the breeze of the wind on their faces. Kyungsoo kept stealing glances on Jongin who looks really contented. His lips were parted in awe, his eyes were glowing. 

The sun was almost setting down and the time is up for them since Yixing only allowed Jongin to be outside not more than two hours.

Kyungsoo stood up from the ground. He reached for Jongin who seems to be like sleeping. He softly tapped Jongin on his shoulder in an attempt to wake him up but Jongin didn't move, instead, his right hand fell from his side like there were no more muscles left.

Kyungsoo's breath hitched as he leaned closer to Jongin. He placed his hands in between Jongin's nose and lips, trying to feel anything warm, but he couldn't feel anything. Jongin was not breathing anymore.

Kyungsoo blinked a few times before he lifted up his head. There was still asmile on Jongin's face. The curve on his lips was not erased even if he's now gone.

Kyungsoo caressed Jongin's cheeks one last time and kissed his forehead.

"Thank you for spending your life with me Jongin. I love you and I will never forget you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.. I really hope you like this. It really hurts the whole time I was writing this, but, we can't get anything we want always right?
> 
> Hope you really liked this! I also prepared a short Epilogue on what happens to Kyungsoo after. 
> 
> Talk to me on twitter: @jonginniesprout


	3. Epilogue

* * *

It was a busy night in the metro. People were walking fast, bumping at each other while they are on their way home. Loud noise of honks coming from the vehicles on the streets can be heard, as well as the buzzing sound of friends chatting and laughing. Only the moon, stars and light poles keeps the streets bright.

_ It's Friday finally_, Kyungsoo shrugged as he put down his messenger bag on the chair beside him.

"Two chicken skewers and two tteokbokki please." He ordered.

He slowly walked towards their favorite park and sat on one the benches. He pulled out Jongin's picture in a frame and put it beside him. He placed one chicken skewer and tteokbokki beside the frame.

"Enjoy, my love." He murmured as he pulled out a smile on his lips.

For the past five years, this has been his routine.

Saturday.

He wore white shirt and tucked it in his pants, his hair was brushed up neatly. He took a once over on the mirror and nodded as he stared at his reflection before he left the house.

Kyungsoo was walking happily, he was humming songs in his lips. He looked excited. He was holding a box of chocolate and a teddy bear on his hands, backpack tugging on his shoulders. He entered a park which looked a bit different from their favorite one. It doesn't look like a park at all in the first place.

It was a cemetery.

He slowly walked his way inside. The place seems familiar to him. He knew every alley, every shortcut until he reached a colorful tomb. There was a bench in front of it, probably custom made. He sat on the bench and took out the things inside his bag after he settled the bear and chocolates beside him. He pulled out his home cooked buttered chicken and kimchi and placed it on the table beside the bench. He prepares a pair of plates and two bottles of water before he started eating.

"I brought you your favorite. You like my buttered chicken more than anything in the world, right?" he whispered.

There isn't anyone around. It was just him and the cold tomb in front of him. Then slowly, a pool of tears started to fell from his eyes. He tried to gulp the bottle of water to stop his sobbing.

He stood up and walked near the gravestone, wiping the invisible dusts on top of it. There was no single visible dirt. Seems like it always get cleaned, always polished. He stared at it for a few moments before he lets out a smile out of grief. 

In that gravestone, it was written:

_** Kim Jongin** _

_ The man being loved by many. _

_ You were gone too soon, but I will never let our love vanish. _

_ I will stay and love you forever. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this one. I really love this fic. :((
> 
> Please give me your thoughts in the comments below and I will really appreciate a thumbs up. :)
> 
> Talk to me on twitter: @jonginnniesprout


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